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Tips from Nancy Clark

BODY IMAGE: Are you imagining the wrong body?

"I dread the bathing suit season."
"I may be 40 but I still fight for the figure I had when I was 20."
"I have been exercising for an hour every day for three months and my thighs are still fat. I hate them!"

Few of us naturally possess our desired physique. Sad but true, most of us are ordinary mortals, burdened with bumps, bulges, fat and fleshiness. And even though our bodies are actually good enough the way we are (assuming we are fit and healthy), many active people spend considerable energy covering up their perceived blemishes with baggy clothing. Or they try to reshape themselves with rigorous diet and exercise programs. As one avid exerciser confided "I have struggled for years feeling imperfect, wishing I'd been born with a better body."

As active people, we all know what we are supposed to look like. Women, regardless of age, are supposed to be sleek, slender and slim; men are supposed to be bulky, muscular and trim. Having grown up in the era of Ken & Barbie, Weight Watchers, Twiggy, and omnipresent ads with pencil-thin models, we have been living with those hard-to-change messages starting at an early age.

In general, about one-third of all Americans are truly dissatisfied with their appearance, women more than men. Women most commonly complain about their thighs, abdomen, breasts and buttocks. Men are dissatisfied with their abdomen, upper body and balding hair. Sometimes the problem is imaginary (such as the obsessive marathoner who complains about her fat thighs); sometimes it is real and ranges from a mild complaint about the "spare tire" that hangs over your belt to a major preoccupation with "jelly belly" that results in relentless dieting and tough exercise akin to punishment.

Even athletes are not immune from the epidemic of body dissatisfaction. Despite their fitness, many perceive themselves as having unacceptable bodies. Some, in their desperate efforts to change their physique, develop unhealthy eating patterns and even eating disorders. They harshly judge themselves from the outside in, rather than lovingly accept themselves from the inside out.

Ideally, what you look like on the outside should have little to do with how you feel on the inside. But body dissatisfaction can easily lead to self-punishment. In fact, the best predictor of who will get an eating disorder relates to who struggles most with body image. This can easily include baby boomers fighting middle age spread, as well as daughters experiencing body changes at puberty.

If you struggle with feeling completely good about yourself, take note: weight issues are often self-esteem issues. You shouldn't let your significant accomplishments, such as success with family, community and work, get overshadowed by what-should-be-insignificant cellulite or love handles. Your value extends far beyond your looks; appearance is only skin deep. Your real beauty is in the love, caring and concern you offer to your friends, family and peers.

So what should you do if you are dissatisfied with your body? You might think the solution is to lose weight, pump iron or do thousands of sit-ups. Yes, these will enhance your health and fitness level. But keep in mind that so much of what you look like (your height, musculature, and to a certain extent your weight) is under genetic influence. You can slightly redesign the house that Nature gave you, but you can't totally remodel it ... at least without paying a high price.

Unfortunately, this "outside" approach to correcting body dissatisfaction tends to be incomplete and inadequate. The better approach is to learn to accept your body for what it is and love yourself from the inside out. If you are overweight but healthy and fit, you are OK. There is simply more of you to love. Yes, even you can proudly wear a bathing suit.

To stop struggling with your body, first try to identify when you got the message that something is wrong with your body. Perhaps it was a parent who (way back when) lovingly remarked "You look good, honey, but you'd look even better if you'd lose a few pounds." Or the siblings who teased you about your "thunder thighs." Next, you need to take steps to be at peace with your body, redefine your goals, and to like yourself. This includes renaming your disliked body part (for example, "round stomach" is a more loving name than "repulsive gut"), identifying the parts of your body that you do like and giving yourself credit for your good parts with positive body talk. You'll drive yourself crazy if you dwell on the negative. Focus on loving all the good things your body does for you. Those strong legs (formerly fat thighs) let you be active and fit.

Your body has been and will continue to be your house throughout your life. It has likely been good enough for your family, friends, teammates and co-workers. And although it may seem not perfect enough for you, perhaps now is the time for you to make it your home.

Books to help you be at peace with your body are available through bookstores or the Gurze Eating Disorders Bookshelf Catalogue (800-756-7533; www.gurze.com):

Nancy Clark, MS, RD, nutrition counselor at Boston-area's SportsMedicine Brookline, designs food plans to help active people eat well and feel good. Her Sports Nutrition Guidebook, Second Edition ($20) contains more information. It is available through www.nancyclarkrd.com or by sending a check to Sports Nutrition Services, 830 Boylston St., Brookline MA 02467.